Finding Happy First....

I know lots of people these days who just aren't happy. They aren't happy with their job, relationships, finances, house...whatever.

I discovered a secret a few years ago. You have to find happy first, then the rest will follow. I know that may sound corny, but it is true. If you are not happy in your own skin, nothing else will MAKE you happy.  You could have a great spouse, a nice house and money in the bank. None of these things on their own will create happiness for you.

The secret came to me when I was living in an apartment, by myself, after ending a 25 year marriage. I had been miserable for years, and no one saw it, not even me. I moved into the apartment above my yoga studio with just a computer and an air mattress and some books. I read, meditated, practiced yoga and worked at my part-time job at our local food cooperative. I started to find myself. The person I had pushed aside many years before to live some kind of twisted American dream.

I learned to be happy with myself. I learned that I didn't need money, a fancy job or a new car to be happy. I didn't need a man or a relationship with someone else to be happy.  I was fun to be with, just me, myself and I. I stumbled through some screwed up relationships to come that realization though, but each was a learning experience that led me to being happy with myself.

It is true that people and circumstances can make your life feel miserable, but you have to be confident and happy enough with yourself to walk away from those things and set your sights on something bigger and better!

When I met the man who would become my husband in 2010, I was at that point. I was happy with me, I was comfortable with my lifestyle, my income (or lack thereof!) and myself. He lets me be me and I let him be him. We do our own thing, then come together to spend time with each other. We have that kind of relationship that some people just roll their eyes at and I don't really care!

It is so important to define you. Write down your hopes, dreams and goals. Make a list of things that are important to you and that contribute to your happiness. Then read your list! Read it TWICE everyday!! Write down these things like they already happened.  I would fill pages and pages of my journal with my hopes, dreams and aspirations. Then I would read them over and over.

No, life is never perfect, but when you are happy with yourself, you can weather the storms that come your way much more effectively.

So today, find happy, and the rest will follow!

Have a great day!

Jen